END OF LIFE within BONDING - day 39 NETZACH sh b'YESOD

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PSALMS OF MY SOUL  
Kabbalistic Sephirat HaOmer - day 39, 5 weeks and 4 days
NETZACH sh b'YESOD ספירת העומר   End of Life Within Bonding
http://sephirathaomer.blogspot.com/2015/03/end-of-life-within-bonding-day-39.html
© Joy Krauthammer

Looking to refine my midot/attributes found in Sephirot during Omer Counting, a few weeks ago I enrolled in a workshop “Healing Hand” with Kalsman Institute sponsored by HUC and Cedars-Sinai. 

This is Netzach sh b’Yesod, enduring End of Life within Bonding of relationships.

I took this workshop because I felt inadequate with my presence at End of Life for dear ones. What I realized, and found the proof of only hours ago (see Certificate below), is that 18 years ago I studied this same topic, and I’ve been deeply experiencing others’ End of Life for the last 18 years.  I've felt the 19 recent deaths of dear ones in less than two years, including my older sister, z”l, last summer, and more prior to that.

(Black humor-- my own funeral when I'm 120 will be missing too many of my own loved ones to party at my going away celebration of life. Who will say loving words? Who will leave a pebble at my grave? The truth is that I felt this for first time when I buried my husband, z"l, and it didn't feel humorous.)

How to be present with and for the dying?

Practice now Bikkur Cholim, visit the sick, and also their caregivers. Been practicing Bikur Cholim for decades. Each Yesod/bonding, foundation is different. Each situation in dying is different except for the last breath taken in and out. And know that even when comatose, not responding, the sense of hearing is alive, and so is the soul. Share love, speak it. What else is there?

At times, a dying best friend may not even want to have company of beloved friends, as painful as it feels to friend. (I’ve had to learn that leaving us privately is part of the dying process.)

Closure. Helping to close up relationship, and life, and soothe another… before entering space of the dying...

I empty myself, to be wholly present before entering the loved one's sacred holy space. Breathing OUT and IN is helpful to empty thoughts and bring in calm. Yet, I may fill myself with nature’s beautiful holy energy to hold it, carry its sweetness, and bring it in with me, with a smile. 

Maybe I am prepared with a loving photo gift of a sweet meaningful memory. That has even evoked a “thank you” from a person, otherwise not responsive, hours before death. Mamash I have heard, “I love you” from non-responsive dying friends. 

(I have a Non-Profit MBA specializing in Long Term Care, and believe me, 'End of Life' was not a topic offered to graduate. As a NY medical Social Worker decades ago, I also was not taught about compassion or 'end of life'.)

Giving Comfort and good thoughts to share in full respect with the dying include: 

Sharing Love with words and action (I love you), Gratitude (thank you), Forgiveness (I forgive you, forgive me please and Vidui), Compassion (stroking, holding hands, gazing into eyes), silence, song and/or dance, memories, hope, and sharing that their life had meaning, they have a legacy, and sharing the difference that a person had made to me, and in the world, empathy, sympathy, connection, and in closure, saying Goodbye. 

Actions may include giving Permission to the dying to die and to "Let Go", Let G*d, and to "go to the loved ones" seen in the “light”. If others are or are not in room, I may also meditate on and direct the “Let Go” to the soul of the dying with permission to release body. 
I've learned that Angels hang out by the head, so I do not.

How can I better my midot/attributes? Firstly, by living better, being a good friend, and family member. Only wish there are more hours in every day. Sometimes I must say, No.

This organization, Twilight Brigade - Compassion in Action is still active and I recommend it. 

© Joy Krauthammer

May the refinement work of cosmic cleansing that I do on myself during the 49 days of Kabbalistically Counting the Sephirat HaOmer help me to mamash/truly be who I am, and need to become. I need to delete klipot/husks (negative influences) and again ready myself for Shavuot by strengthening, elevating and perfecting my midot/character traits.

Note: The counting of the Omer takes place between Passover and Shavuot, and each day is associated with a specific Kabbalistic combination pair of Sephirot.  For a greater explanation and understanding of this theme, see Rabbi Simon Jacobson's "A Spiritual Guide to the Counting of the Omer," which may be found on http://www.chabad.org/ or http://www.meaningfullife.com/