BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION - day 3 TIFERET sh b'CHESED

PSALMS OF MY SOUL
ספירת העומר

 http://sephirathaomer.blogspot.com/2012/01/counting-sephirat-haomer-workshop.html

Kabbalistic Sephirat HaOmer - day 3 of Counting 49 days on the Etz Chayim

Compassion In Lovingkindness - DAY 3 TIFERET sh b'CHESED

BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION

My friend, Edith, celebrates her 91st birthday today on the 3rd day of the Omer. 

I photographed the flowers in Edith's garden and created a floral collage for her. 

With all my heart, I love to show chesed to my elderly friend. 

Deciding that the best action I can take as a gift for my friend's 91st birthday today, is to photograph her garden and give her photos and a collage of G*d's magnificent flowers.  At this age, having a little difficulty, Edith is not free to go alone to her front yard, to enter her bounteous garden.  I want to bring the garden to her. In addition, we sat together quietly in her back porch (more easily accessible) as the dog and cat vied for our attention. Edith is pure chesed to her pets.

There is Tiferet/harmony in our Chesed/lovingkindness toward each other.  Inside the home, I watched on her computer, the hundreds of photos that family has prepared for an upcoming wedding. I'm glad to share the pleasure my friend (the matriarch) has from her decades of mothering generations. 

My friend appreciates my large printed colorful flower collage and says it would make a good card or table placemat.  For my friend I spent a couple intensive full days between shooting 125 photos and editing and 'layer masking' and  using Instant Alpha for more creativity. I've been editing more and individually sending the flower photos to Edith for her extended birthday pleasure.

These Flowers of My Heart, are a Psalm of My Soul.

How can you have more harmony in your relationships and bring beauty to them?

Flower Collage

Edith's Garden

© Joy Krauthammer 

Original Version

© Joy Krauthammer 

My goal is to mindfully & Sephirotically examine mysef during each of 49 days of Counting the Omer, 

and delete blemishes to purify in preparation going toward Shavuot. 
It feels good to know and recognize that the compassionate action we share as friends, 
is because we are created B'Tzelem Elokim, in the image of the Holy One. 
"Love your neighbor as yourself"  I AM the Eternal One."  (Leviticus 19:18)

All photos/materials in sites by Joy Krauthammer are under copyright protection by © Joy Krauthammer.

Permission by Joy Krauthammer, needed to repost/copy/reprint/use. Request in Comments, FB, or write/call personally. 

PAIR of HEARTS - day 17 TIFERET sh b'TIFERET

PSALMS OF MY SOUL 

Kabbalistic Sephirat HaOmer - day 17 which is two weeks and three days of the Omer.

TIFERET sh b’TIFERET - HEART of HEART  ספירת העומר

PAIR OF HEARTS. Heart of Heart - Balance, Beauty, Truth, Compassion
http://sephirathaomer.blogspot.com/2015/05/pair-of-hearts-day-17-tiferet-sh.html

'Counting the Omer with Edith and after Edith'

We were 'a pair', and today the Omer pair is HEART.

Today, as most days recently, I think of my truly beloved friend, Edith, BFF, obm. Her memorial is this Sunday, following the week of Tiferet. Edith died 5th day of the Omer, 12 days ago. From my heart each day in prior years and the first days of this Sephirat HaOmer season, I shared with Edith the meaning of each Omer day as I understood it - all around me, coming through me and within me. Being a religious and spiritual woman, Edith enjoyed learning about my faith. (She knew more than me and chastised me for not knowing "all the bible", including hers.)Edith had been a church organist, and I am a temple musician. We shared many interests, especially gardening. Was really gardening of the heart... We had opposing thoughts too, especially on who should be US president and cancelled out each other’s vote! For heart reasons, we restricted some of our conversations.

'Counting the Omer' today is HEARTbased within Truth, Beauty, Compassion, Harmony and Balance. This composed most of our days and years, especially Edith’s personal 95 years. Tomorrow Edith would have celebrated her 95th birthday surrounded by hearts’ love. (Yes, you know I am tearing.)

One of Edith’s sons following his mother’s, obm, death called Edith and I “a pair” and now I realize that we were a ‘pair’, a team. (Edith is growing pears in her garden.) I hadn’t analyzed our relationship. I didn’t stand back and examine it. I was just deeply within it. Yes, dear Edith, I acknowledge that you were the age of my own mother, obm, and what that means to you. 

I appreciate the friendship concept offered up by a son.  Concocting TIFERET-filled still lifes together in her home and garden for my photo group's photography themes over the prior 4 1/2 years, and appreciating the TIFERET of life, we were 'a pair' for at least a couple decades but knew each longer as I drove by each day and saw Edith gardening and would wave. I am still feeling it. Feels better than the immediate mourning, grief and loss I endured upon Edith’s passing over, and from my heart--shared love-filled memories with Edith’s family. I had spent part of practically every day or evening over the years with Edith, a neighbor a few blocks away.

Edith did enjoy my photo projects although I didn't always use her ideas regarding props. Recently I didn’t act to reach up high to a shelf holding her deceased husband’s eagle sculpture. At times, Edith’s fast moving mostly unfriendly cat didn’t want to stand still either. You can see Caty's photos in my Edith web site*.

I think the best photo I ever took in Edith's home that wasn't of Edith-- was an awesome one that my photo group in no way appreciated yet weeks later someone else also staged it, and I shared that with Edith. I would tell Edith how many FaceBook ‘likes’ each photo received from our projects.

Edith and I used to set up still lifes. First time I ever created a still life was with Edith and fruit. We had different opinions how to make them look best. Edith liked fruit standing in same direction, more harmonious, and I liked various, more chaotic, and I’d place some upside down. Yes, we really spent a lot of happy, joyous, fun, creative time together... Edith would have me add her garden’s red or yellow hibiscus flowers to my swimming pool shots. There should be some shots in the Edith web site. Floating flowers are also in a video I made, Ripple Reflections, *** in tribute to Edith and her pool. I was ecstatic in Edith’s pool, especially when shooting from the heart.

Can't recall the theme... but in Edith's dining room I looked through and shot through a hanging chandelier crystal and photographed lots of fruits in patterns layered in a bowl on Edith's table by the curtained window. Awesome. Definitely one of my more strange creative photos filled with light and weirdness. OH, I loved those dark purple skinned bitter passion fruits and luscious orange persimmons from her tree. I made a YouTube movie of Edith preparing her dried Persimmons**. 

With a fruit prop, used Edith’s magnificent large cream-colored table cloth (maybe amazingly crocheted by her mom). I neatly refolded the precious ancestral cloth. Photos in site.

(My own mom, z”l, obm, used to love the lights from hanging crystals. My creative artist gardener mom, died young 1969, would have loved Edith, so humble and nothing pretentious about Edith, an 'earth mother'.  My mom used to love creating still lifes with her own art for her photography. Hmm, In Hebrew my mom’s name was ‘heart’, Lev, Leba, thus Tiferet.)

I used to often stand by Edith at the sink and photograph her there, preparing, creating, cooking, cleaning.  At times Edith would let me turn the cooking vegetables, or cut and prepare the persimmons for ‘drying'. Felt good that Edith trusted me with her foods and utensils. (I did good.) The large wind chimes with hummer at window above sink were a gift from me. Figured I'd bring in a hummer as Edith spent time making the Hummers’ sugar water drink.

Each morning Edith would heart-fully tell/show me about the twinkly lights she’d see emanating from the distant palm trees.  They totally delighted her.

Each morning Edith is with me as I see the twinkles, like now. This morning, some of them entered my kitchen as I wrote on computer. I do believe it is Edith visiting me, filled with Tiferet.

In Tiferet sh b'Tiferet 2018, 

- Joy Krauthammer

* Edith:

http://myfriendedith.blogspot.com

** Persimmon movie:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J023-ZFfCpM

*** Ripple Reflections in tribute to Edith movie:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFSnnHC2_7M&spfreload=1

LOVE IN FINAL JOURNEY - day 22 CHESED sh b'NETZACH

Psalms of My Soul  © Joy Krauthammer 

Kabbalistic Sephirat HaOmer  ספירת העומר

CHESED sh b'NETZACH - day 22  Caring and LOVING KINDNESS WITHIN FINAL JOURNEY
as Soul Leaves Body

Counting Omer 3 weeks and 1 day of 7 weeks

http://sephirathaomer.blogspot.com/2015/04/love-in-final-journey-day-22-chesed-sh.html

Lone Purple Lupine Living & Enduring in the Crack of Life

Soul Leaves Body

Doing it Alone, and with love

© Joy Krauthammer 

Edith taught me to properly pronounce name of this flower, sounds like LUpin, not LUpine.

Edith Endured her final days in the crack of life

with L O V E.

Soul Leaves Body

© Joy Krauthammer 

Purple Lupine Living & Enduring in the Crack of Life

Soul Leaves Body

and with love

Chesed sh b'Netzach

© Joy Krauthammer 

Psalms of My Soul  © Joy Krauthammer 

Kabbalistic Sephirat HaOmer   ספירת העומר

CHESED sh b'NETZACH - day 22  Caring and Loving Kindness Within the Final Journey

Counting Omer 3 weeks and 1 day of 7 weeks 

http://sephirathaomer.blogspot.com/2015/04/love-in-final-journey-day-22-chesed-sh.html

A Step to Personal Refinement in 49 Days

How can I refine my Chesed and Netzach, my endurance to be of better loving service?

From what or where does my endurance come?

During this Omer day 22, Chesed sh b’Netzach, Loving Kindness Within Endurance, I am registered for "Healing Hand", a half day workshop in being present for the dying...  as if I don’t have enough experience in this topic of life. But I feel that I need more guidance, wisdom so that I can be a better more understanding friend, present for the dying.  In less than the last couple years, I lost about 17 beloved friends, including cousins, one at a time, including an older sister months ago, z"l. Lost more loved ones in the preceding years. 

Two weeks ago it was sad to be with a dying dear friend, Edith, obm. Loving family was always in and out of the room to be with their mother, my friend on hospice in a hospital bed in her own home filled with love. I felt the need to honor friend’s family, and to give them their time without my excess presence.

They all said I was the “best friend”. Edith was my best friend.

I wish I could have had a meaningful conversation at the end, and been supportive more to my friend. The truth is that I’ve been supportive to her for many years, just as she was mutually supportive and loving to me.  Could I have caringly in kindness said anything that could have helped my friend in her final journey on earth? Had the topic of DEATH been opened for discussion, it may have been possible. 

How do I step out of the ‘fear’ of not wanting to be inappropriate, OR how to go forward in Netzach in opening up with Chesed / compassion to addressing the sensitive issue not yet spoken about– the conversation/discussion with a loved one about 'hospice, end of life, death', without thinking I am trespassing on an intimate personal, important reality topic, and thus not saying anything, not creating an opening.  (With a dead person, I can easily have the monologue.) 

I did NOT know that Edith was on Hospice upon coming home from hospital with pacemaker. Prior to my friend being on 'palliative care' and morphine and no longer responsive, I did not know that this was the end of her life journey. We also had never touched upon the topic of 'end of life', nor death. (Couple years earlier I offered to friends a workshop, "Valley Death Cafe". Goal was to have a discussion on 'end of life'. I scheduled this when a friend died after months on hospice and I had daily visited.)

The week before Edith's death, a music therapist was visiting and dear Edith asked me to come by for the appointment. The gentle soft-spoken therapist surprised me when at my request, he introduced himself to me as being from a "hospice". He asked me about the friendship and "love shared" and I expressed out loud some of the ways Edith and I had connected, and how grateful I was for the love. I had no idea at the time that this would be the last of our discussions or friendly visits. Edith speaking became too difficult along with breathing.

Sometimes friends have been on hospice for many extended months. I followed the visiting hospice music therapist out to his car when I too was leaving, and asked him, "Why hospice?" Of course he legally couldn't tell me. I didn't ask in the moment in the room then, "Why?" I didn't ask my friend. (I was silently upset with the hospice music therapist because two weeks earlier my friend said that she had requested two spiritual songs for the next visit, and therapist on this last visit was not prepared.)

Until a couple weeks earlier when lungs then weakened, my friend was so much stronger and alert with the 'pacemaker' she was given two months earlier.

My reality is that I am in mourning again, with a loss of a best friend. I'm feeling that maybe there was more I could have verbally been for Edith, while holding a hand, gently stroking her arm and forehead, and kissing good bye, saying "I love you". 

Family, caregivers and nurses were in and out of the room for the last few days. Could I have spoken with Edith, obm, about the transition she was in? Could I have said anything to ease her journey in releasing her body? I did silently speak to her soul about her loved ones who had died. Could I have said anything comforting to Edith about her eternal soul?

Thus, this Sephirat HaOmer Day 22 represents for me my Chesed, my Loving kindness and compassion in determination to be present at the end of life for my dear friends. How can I be better to help contribute wholeheartedly to loved ones in the face of death? To help ease the journey of their soul.

Couple decades ago I studied with a group called Compassion in Action, AKA the Twilight Brigade.  The weeks of driving into LA were to learn to be present for the dying. Between that and all too many of my experiences with loved ones dying and supporting their caregivers with Bikur Cholim  / visiting the sick, I still feel to be ‘not enough’ and yet, I know this journey is not about me. I have learned to walk into the hospice room empty, without a plan, and just be present. That can be in silence.

In the last days of my friend Edith’s, obm life, she could not speak, she was in a morphine comatose state, so there was no conversation.  But that did not stop me from telling my friend what she already knew, that I love her, and so did my family. I put my cell phone to her ear so she could hear my daughter’s voice sharing love. I know Edith's soul heard my daughter, and me, and my soul is feeling it deeply as I write.

My Reb Zalman, z"l, had taught us, his students, that after death we can still have conversations with our loved ones (while 'holding their hand' by holding our own hand). We can ask about "Forgiveness, Gratitude, Compassion and Love". I've even created a MEMORY FLAME card with that advice to give comfort to mourners, and I've given away hundreds.  I need to remember that while loved one is still alive, we can open the gates of conversation on "Forgiveness, Gratitude, Compasson and Love", as my card says. 

http://joys-prose.blogspot.com/2013/02/memory-flame.html

During day 22, today, it is the memorial for my friend Edith (minutes following the 'Healing Hand" workshop'), and I will be sharing many hugs with Edith's large family, for the last time. They do know I loved their mom.  With hugs, I have written a few loving notes to her family in the days following death, extolling virtues of our friendship and experiences. 

When I see single flowers growing in cracks in cement, I see the perseverance needed to live. In the flower breaking through, I see the soul separating from the body. My 95 year old friend knew her time had come. She had out-lived all her peers, she told me years ago. I would have liked to somehow be more supportive to Edith (and others) at end-of-life, more than I was, but maybe I was present for her with nothing left unsaid nor undone.  I realize now that I was very present the prior year when a dear friend was preparing to die but this 86 year old friend continually herself brought up the topic maybe because she had no family.

I’m going to the 'Jewish Wisdom and Wellness" workshop in a few minutes, just in case there is anything I can learn and be conscious and wise about, when in Chesed I say goodbye to my loved ones. I wonder, did any of Edith’s family speak to her about death, her death. Or were these words unspoken? LOVE was shared.

- Joy Krauthammer

P.S. 
In the Kalsman Institute with Cedars-Sinai hospital's "Healing Hand" workshop (with Sue Knight Deutsch) that I attended in morning before friend's afternoon memorial, I was reminded while visiting the dying:

–To walk in empty, and to breathe "out, and in", like blowing up and deflating a balloon.
–To listen.
–To also share that the person's "life had meaning". (My sister, z"l, and I had really discussed that when she was not well and I shared with her so many of her contributions to making the world a better place. I also reminded my family so they too could reiterate meaningful facts.)
–To ask for permission to touch the person. (I do this also when blesSing another.)
–To be on their right side facing you, if possible.
–Not to touch the crown of the head because the soul exits from the crown. (I know not to be by the head because angels visit by the head.)
–Give permission to the person for them to "let go" (of their earthly body). 

~ ~ ~

The afternoon MEMORIAL for Edith was absolutely loving and attended by all extended family. 

We sat in Edith's garden that she dearly loved.

© Joy Krauthammer 

Screen shot of a PhotoBooth Selfie, shared with Edith's 90th birthday movie, story of her life.

Screen shot from birthday movie of Edith and Joy, loving friends

Sharing Love LINKS TO EDITH:

https://myfriendedith.blogspot.com

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J023-ZFfCpM

CARING WITHIN GRATITUDE - DAY 29 CHESED sh b’HOD

PSALMS OF MY SOUL 

Kabbalistic Sephirat HaOmer day 29 ספירת העומר

CARING WITHIN GRATITUDE - DAY 29 CHESED sh b’HOD
http://sephirathaomer.blogspot.com/2015/04/caring-within-gratitude-day-29-chesed.html
© Joy Krauthammer 

Today is Sephirat HaOmer day 29, 4 weeks and 1 day. What I now notice and acknowledge is that my giving actions on this day are in the universal energies of today’s Omer day 29, CHESED sh b’HOD. That makes me happy to know I am in alignment. 

1. Without yet doing the Omer Count or Bracha last night when sun set, without realizing consciously what pair of energies the universe is in –last night I wrote a letter to daughter of my closest dear friend Edith, obm, whose memorial was last week. Letter wasn’t anymore about my grief, sadness and loss. I had reached beyond myself and made room to sincerely share my gratitude in writing and give thanks. Grateful also to G*d that my friend didn’t have to suffer for long at end of her life. I shared with the daughter, my age, in humility and love, how grateful I was that with her endurance she cared for her almost 95 year old mom at mom’s home so that Edith could remain at her own home in the last couple years, and especially last couple months since being in a hospital, and also at home on hospice.  Edith had walked safely and well for a couple years with a walker until she went to a hospital for a pacemaker a couple months ago.

It is hard for the loving caregiver to be in charge and I was acknowledging daughter's lovingkindness, and also my gratitude. I think my humility caused me to be more loving and giving to the family while I am grieving. I had never before hugged the daughter, and easily and in my own grief, on her mother’s death, I was able to truly give the daughter (and other adult children) my deep sympathy for their love to their mother and for their loss. On this particular Omer day I wrote a letter of love and understanding to the one daughter living with Edith, yet had written earlier letters to all the family.

2. This morning, early, almost 6AM my time, I called my 86 year old friend Geneva, a former social worker colleague of mine in “Bed-Stuy the new hipster ‘hood” of Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn, NY, USA. (It sits between Crown Heights and Williamsburg and when I worked there was known as Brooklyn’s Harlem.) Geneva was my unofficial mentor. She was a Black woman in a mostly black neighborhood (those were her people) and I was not black and needed to learn a lot, quickly, on the job. Geneva living in S. Carolina is now bed bound (like our patients used to be), and it’s lately very hard to understand her words. 

I guess because all my other dear elder friends had died, I thought (wrongly) Geneva too must had died, especially since my last phone call hadn’t been answered. I had not received a Pesach card last month from Geneva and I had neglected to send an Easter card to her. (My best friend Edith had died Easter week).  Since the early 1970’s from when we worked together, but then I moved to California, Geneva and I stayed in touch for holidays and birthdays. Our cards also went out for Christmas and Chanukah. Geneva said she has no way to get now to the store to buy a card. Her granddaughter lives with her, and there is outside agency help. Uncomfortably, I felt like I was in our old role as I asked her about how she was doing. I recall that until her husband Eddie, obm, died five years ago, Geneva was lovingly at his side for years every day in the nursing home, even when he was not communicative. Geneva kept me up to which of our former colleagues had died, even when too young, and sadly sent newspaper clippings or memorial flyers and we mourned together the death of colleagues; Black, Indian or Jewish white. We also laughed alot together. I'll call the remaining colleagues and tell them about Geneva, our matriarch.

So this morning I spent loving time in gratitude that i could speak to Geneva, although trying hard with difficulty to understand her speech. I got the e-mail address from her granddaughter Erica and immediately sent some recent happy photos to Geneva via Erica of my daughter and her family, hoping it would give Geneva a smile. Forty-five years later, Geneva can see my grey hair. No more cute young ponytails. Geneva met my Aviva when Aviva was age 2 when we traveled to NY in the late 1970’s.  Now Aviva’s youngest is almost two.  I can hear Geneva's laugh as she will view the photos.

What I realized after both writing and calling to friends was that my actions were totally in the energies of today’s Omer day 29, CHESED sh b’HOD. 

May I continue to remember friends and their goodness, so they are not forgotten, while they can receive my love, and I can share pleasure with them.

© Joy Krauthammer 5778

Edith's daughter's Blue Sky flowers in Edith's garden

© Joy Krauthammer 

GRATITUDE PLATE - day 40 HOD sh b'YESOD

PSALMS OF MY SOUL

ספירת העומר

Kabbalistic Sephirat HaOmer day 40

Meal Serving of Gratitude for G*d's Foundation

Gratitude Day of Thankfulness is everyday, for mazal/good fortune, l'briut/health, ahavah/love, parnusa/prosperity, shalom/peace, simcha/ joy, b'hatzlacha/success, l'chayim/life.

HOD sh b'YESOD

HODU GRATITUDE (green) plate for LA'S Ahavat Torah congregation 

to be used during Kiddush, in lieu of disposable plates.

hand-painted dinner plate and photo by 

JOY Krauthammer © 

"Serve G*d With Joy"

 http://sephirathaomer.blogspot.com

~ ~ ~

How do you share your gratitude within foundations and connections of your life?

HEAVEN & EARTH CONNECT - day 40 HOD sh b'YESOD

PSALMS OF MY SOUL
ספירת העומר

Kabbalistic Sephirat HaOmer day 40

HEAVEN and EARTH CONNECT 
Gratitude for G*d's Gorgeous Garden
(that Edith tends with great love)

HOD sh b'YESOD

With a bracha / blessing 

and these posts 

implanted in Yesod, 

I birth more beauty

for others to behold.

In Edith's Garden I feel the glory of G*d's goodness, and I have Gratitude.
Edith, her cat and dog and I, have bonded.

Friend Edith calls me at 6:30 am (as arranged) to quickly drive over and photograph new open buds.
Every flower is a gift.

The sun rises, and when the clouds pass, the red Poppies shine all the way back to Heaven.

It amazes me that the delicate poppies share the same pot of earth with the sturdy young Sago palm.

Edith (89 years young) sits on her porch playing with Lola (the big black Lab and her slimy ball), as I lie down with camera in the moist grass (or hard pointy pebbles in the dirt), looking up at the sun lit poppy petals against the beautiful blue sky. The red poppies are glorious. As I gaze upon the poppies, the petals detach and gently drop to the ground. I pick them up, raise up myself, and bring them to Edith to enjoy.

I hope the buzzing bees don't sting me (again).

Adjacent are the pink Cosmos appearing more grounded than the tall slim poppies.

How am I thankful for the birthed splendor I receive in our universe?

photos © Joy Krauthammer

PS

Edith having reached her 90th birthday in Splendor, is now within her 91st year. 

May Edith be well to 120! Happy birthday each spring time as your poppies blossom.

~ ~ ~

I'm so happy to be part of Omer Counting Creative Responses with Judith-Kate Friedman and friends. in FaceBook and submit daily to her page. 

"Greetings. This group is for sharing creative responses during the 49 day mystical practice of Counting the Omer 5777 (2017). You're invited to add your voice, sounds, images, drash..... music, art, poetry, gratitudes and memories in this community gathering place, right here on the page. Let your creativity shine! 

"Bring your reflections and responses inspired by the day's sefirot pairings and related readings. In addition feel free to weave in/spiel on themes of honoring: parents, children, loved ones, mentors, teachers, our roots and routes, those generations - who come before/after us, and the sources and Source of Creation." - Judith Kate