BOUNDARIES IN LOVINGKINDNESS - day 2 GEVURAH sh b’CHESED

PSALMS OF MY SOUL
ספירת העומר

GEVURAH sh b'CHESED

Kabbalistic Sephirat HaOmer - day 2

- Joy Krauthammer

At times I must remember that it is important to hold back from being too generous. Giving too much does not always help a person, whether financially, psychologically, or physically, and prevents them from doing for themselves, when they are capable.

I remember over a dozen years ago when at that time my husband, z'l, was a parapalegic. I'd bought a new couch better designed for his needs. He was angry with me when I caringly tried to assist him out of the wheelchair into the new couch. Immediately with his strength of spirit, he got himself out of the couch and back into the wheelchair, and then back to the couch to prove that he was somewhat independent.

© Joy Krauthammer 

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NO PRAISE or YES PRAISE

I, too, like some others, were raised without any praise and only criticism. It hurt this week when an elder dear friend seriously chided me AGAIN for appreciating praise and gratitude offered so sweetly by others in acknowledgment for what I do and successes. 

I know that my friend offered her criticism teaching out of love to me, but not only did it hurt (although not as painfully piercing as the first time), I believe the teaching is truly misguided.

I used Gevurah after I was home, never said a word to my elder friend, although I was getting more upset by the minute. I was upset that I hadn't explained myself well in 'defending' myself, and upset with myself that I felt I had to defend myself from the attack. 

Maybe share harsh opinion where it is needed to be shared, and surely not when one is being honored with a published "Featured Artist Interview" after five decades of being an artist, teacher, and administrator as I was. I had felt the 'joy' of this "Interview" and I was attacked by my friend for feeling the joy and others' praise. She never made a comment about my 'Interview."

I don't know if "not being humble brings destruction" or not. 

I would much rather focus on what 'joy' brings. I'd rather focus on what reaching for potential  brings, other than consequences of success.

I am appreciative that writer Oriah Mountain Dreamer guides us with her words and quotes by others, for our healthy hearts and souls. Thank you Oriah for setting a straight and loving path.

The words I most loved shared from my father, obm, before he died, were "I am proud of you." I use these meaningful words. I share them with my daughter and her family and friends. - Joy Krauthamer

Via Oriah, from - Annie Dillard

"We are here to witness the creation and to abet it… We are here to bring to consciousness the beauty and power that are around us and to praise the people who are here with us."

May praise enable us even more fully for us to recognize what we do, the potential we have, and do greater good work in our world, AKA mitzvot. 

Let us share generously the joy we hold and can express.  - Joy Krauthammer

Psalm 96 1. Sing to G*d a new song; sing to G*d all the earth”.

Let the heavens rejoice, let the earth be glad;

    let the sea resound, and all that is in it.

12 Let the fields be jubilant, and everything in them;

    let all the trees of the forest sing for joy.

13 Let all creation rejoice before the Lord, for he comes,

    he comes to judge the earth.

He will judge the world in righteousness

    and the peoples in his faithfulness.  

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PS

After the 2nd attack this week, I went home and exploded into a letter that I did send to my friend.  I hadn't nipped it in the bud.  She has her beliefs in her 'New Testament' religion and I have mine in the 'Old Testament'. Yes, I was reactive. I had been protective of my friend because of her age (and held back my response), but I'd had enough, and used my Gevurah/strength as carefully in Chesed/lovingkindness as I could in writing a careful letter. It was acknowledged, and issue dropped by 91 year old beloved friend without further discussion.

What can I learn from this?  

Maybe to be more responsive in the moment with a full discussion and not so reactive, as I am.  

I did say that I regretted she didn't understand me, and that I am not 'puffed up' like her popcorn on Pesach.
If anyone every thinks that I am 'puffed up' with ego, do please let me know so I can correct my blemish.

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My goal is to mindfully & Sephirotically examine mysef during each of 49 days of Counting the Omer, 

and delete blemishes to purify in preparation going toward Shavuot. 
It feels good to know and recognize that the compassionate action we share as friends, 
is because we are created B'Tzelem Elokim, in the image of the Holy One. 
"Love your neighbor as yourself"  I AM the Eternal One."  (Leviticus 19:18)

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